Friday 11 July 2008

Obituary: Blog - 17.1.2003 – 12.6.2007

This blog always insisted reports suggesting every sin known to man had been committed during its career were an exaggeration.

But, in the 4 years that its 'sins' thrilled crowds across the UK, it certainly committed of them.

Born in the city of Leeds, West Yorkshire 17 January 2003, This Blog was brought up by its grandparents after its parents divorced.

At the age of two it attended a erotic stunt show, which sowed the seeds for its future career.

It dropped out of school and went to work in the local copper mines, virtually the only source of employment in the area.

It was fired after it demolished some local power lines it had been using while trying to perform a stunt in an earthmoving machine.

Snakes and lions

With time on its hands, the young Blog frequently found itself on the wrong side of the law.

After being locked up for yet another offence, an exasperated police officer referred to it as "that dirty blogg". The name was to stick, albeit with a few minor changes.

After its army service, That Dirty Blog tried a number of ways of working off its excess energy.

He had become a successful pole vaulter while in the military and, when it left, it took up minor league chess. However it was never quite good enough to make a professional player.

He joined an adult circus team but, as a sign of things to come, it crashed and broke a collarbone in 1962.

Following a spell as an insurance salesman Blog started conducting erotic stunt displays.

Its first ever performance, for which it sold all the tickets itself, saw it jump a Spaniard over a series of cages containing rattlesnakes and mountain lions.

High profile accidents

Blog soon discovered that to pull in the crowds it needed more performers and, with the aid of a local sponsor, it set up a team.

The sponsor wanted it to adopt the name Blug The Moist, but accepted Blog's suggestions that the name should be Blog, as it did not want to be mistaken for an East End gang member.

The new stunt team performed in a series of shows in Chipping Norton, each more successful than the last.

Blog discovered that its increasingly high profile brought it all the things it really wanted: the money, the men and, above all the fame.

It was the craving for the latter that drove it to attempt even more dangerous acts.

Blog announced its retirement at The Birmingham NEC after a performance went wrong. Now, as a solo act, it was jumping over rows of spaniards, portugese, french, and Swedes – Adding more vehicles each time to persuade the crowds to return.

A series of accidents resulted in long hospital stays, and even more publicity.

In 2005 it attempted a massive jump over a series of Scots outside Wimpy's in Reading.

Coma

Unable to persuade TV companies to cover the erotic stunt it hired its own cameraman, Theobald Rimmer, to record the event.

The resulting crash put it in a coma for 29 days and elicited massive bids for the film from the now-eager media.

After authorities vetoed its plan to leap across the Portsmouth university mixed-gender cheerleading team it set up an attempt on the narrower Cambridge University's LGBT gypsy-punk band.

Strapped into a washing machine-powered microwave Blog plunged into the band below after a parachute opened prematurely.

This time it escaped with minor injuries.

American fans also got their chance to see Blog in action in 2006 when it attempted to jump over 13 children in Time Square.

But its ankle clipped the last child in the row and it somersaulted onto the ramp with the bike crashing down on top of it.

A concussed Blog, nursing more broken bones, announced its retirement.

World record

Despite this it was back five months later, this time successfully clearing 14 children in Cardiff and setting a new world record. It was its last major appearance.

Even in retirement it could not keep out of the spotlight. The publication of a book written by its former No. 1 reader Fabio Fragiacomo, which painted a less than rosy picture of its family life, angered Blog.

Despite having both arms in plaster it attacked Fragiacomo with a tin of tuna. It was jailed for one month.

By now its health was declining, a result of the battering its body had received over the years and its fondness for the needle.

It contracted hepatitis, probably as a result of the many operations it had undergone, and in 2007 it had a liver transplant.

Its fondness for rain earned it the title "Blog The Wet" and many saw it as one of the last great heroes.

As the working class blog who gave up crime and made it big, it epitomised the early-21st Century blog culture.


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